What made you super angry
Stress with parents: that helps
At some point all parents get stupid.
At least that's what you think when you get older and suddenly it bangs regularly. A little bit of trouble is also okay. If everything was always great at home, otherwise we would all stay with mom and dad until we were 40. But joking aside: Most of the time, the struggling goes beyond the occasional pissing off. Before slamming doors and insults become normal and a conversation without screaming is no longer possible, you should take action. Because there are many ways to do something for the house blessing!
1. Talk to your parents.
Should be on hand, but it doesn't always work: In order for your relationship to improve again, you have to talk to each other first. "They don't understand me anyway!" or "It's no good!" does not apply!
2. Explain to them what is wrong with you.
You are guaranteed to be at least as big a mystery to your parents as they are to you. Instead of blaming them, explain to them how you see things. How do you feel, what makes you angry or frustrated? If you have no idea what is going on with you, at least tell them that. For example: "I'm totally overwhelmed myself right now. And angry. But I don't know why!" Because that's still better than just "You're annoying!" to scream.
3. Always talk about yourself.
The golden rule of conflict communication: It is essential to formulate I-messages. "You are totally unjust!" guarantees defensive reactions. "I feel that you have treated me unfairly!" sounds completely different.
4. Ask how your parents see things.
Instead of trying to impose your opinion on your parents, just ask them how they see things. This shows that you are ready to reach out to them and that you care about their opinion. Listen to them carefully and try to understand them - instead of just hearing what you want to hear so that you can launch the next "attack".
5. Put yourself in their shoes.
Before you yell at your parents that they "never let you do anything great" and that others are allowed to "always do a lot more", change your perspective. If you were in the place of your parents - would you really let your child party until the morning during the week? Probably not.
6. Make them offers and compromise proposals.
Better than a pure "Nope!" is always a counter-proposal. If your mom asks you to empty the dishwasher, you can just say "No!" call and start the next argument from the fence. But you can also say: "I'll phone another 10 minutes, then I'll take care of it." Sounds more conciliatory.
7. Make clear agreements.
Sit down and talk about what is bothering you and what needs to be changed. Then you formulate concrete measures and make firm agreements. "Help more around the house", for example, is far too vague. "Pick up the garbage can on the street on Mondays" and "Put the dishwasher in the dishwasher after dinner" is clearer. A point of honor: what you make will be respected.
8. Make only promises what you can keep.
Empty promises only cause even more trouble in the end. If you offer or negotiate with your parents, make sure you can keep your promises. Practicing 5 hours for the next math assignment is realistic - but from now on always writing twos in math is more likely not.
9. Swear only without swear words.
When you're really annoyed, things can get ugly. It is important that everyone is aware that one cannot behave like an ax in the forest, even among family members. Swear words are clearly taboo - and naturally taking bad moods out on your mother is not okay either. If it does happen, at least an apology is due.
10. Appeal to their memories - and work on yourself.
Your parents were young too. They must have done a lot of nonsense too. Reminding them nicely can ease the situation. Maybe you can even laugh at one story or another together. Of course, this is not a free ticket for you. Relationships are not a one-way street: if you want your parents to loosen up, you have to work on yourself too!
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