It's time to end this relationship

When should you end a relationship?

Last update: 28th November, 2017

Ending a relationship is a decision we will remember foreverwhether it was right or not, whether it was good or bad for us, you just don't forget it. We look for support and understanding from other people, but in the end it is our decision about our life and it is necessary to listen to our intuition.

First of all, think about what this relationship will be like if it goes on for a year or five. This point of view may help you get an idea of ​​what you want to dowhat makes you feel good or bad. It is necessary to be realistic and not deceive ourselves as this self deception can harm us and the other person.

"In the case of impossible relationships, one should first and foremost lose hope."

Walter Riso

To know if it is time to end our current relationship, we should ask ourselves certain questions without searching for culprits. Relationships are formed by two people; it's about trying to understand what happened and how we can learn from it with wisdom and patience.

Questions to ask before ending a relationship

When should you end a relationship? Before we can answer this question, we need to clarify a number of other points. And many of the questions we ask ourselves before we end a relationship will be painful because reality can sometimes hurt, but it is also necessary to mature and understand who we are and what we want from a relationship . Leaving is suffering, but continuing a relationship that doesn't work hurts even more.

It was already known in ancient times that healthy love always consists of three elements: Eros (sexual attraction), philia (friendship) and agape (affection, tenderness), and that none of them should ever be missing, because if one is missing it creates pain and a feeling that the relationship is not fulfilling.

Is that the relationship I want?

If we keep thinking about whether the relationship we have is what we want, then we will find a clear perspective on what we really want. As I said before, It is very important to be realistic about our relationship and not to make excuses for certain situations or behaviors that we do not like.

If we want something different, if we want a different kind of relationship, it may be because we're just not with the right person. Think about what you really want, not what others mean or think what is best for you.

What do you lose and what do you gain from the relationship and from the breakup?

Often times we try to continue hopeless relationships without realizing that breaking up with someone who doesn't make us happy can be a relief or with which we are not comfortable.

Or as Walter Riso says:"Why humiliate you?" Humiliation, no matter what form - pleading, pleading, bowing your head, exaggeratedly flattering the other - has a boomerang effect, because humiliation leads to malaise over time.

“If you are not loved, then do not beg, nor fall on your knees. You don't ask or ask for love, it just happens. And if nothing happens, then you duly withdraw and focus your gaze on something else. "

Walter Riso

Once you understand the reasons why you want to end a relationship, it is important to see if there is a way to resolve the conflict with your partner, or whether it is worth looking for a solution to the problem.

"Never lose your courage to a person who doesn't know what is in you when you know what you deserve."

Paulo Coelho

If you ask yourself all of the previous questions and decide to end the relationship, then you are likely going through a difficult time, but the pain becomes weaker and goes away with the passage of time. Everyone takes some getting used to, but the moment will come when you will realize that you have made the right decision with maturity and courage.