Was Jesus a better teacher than Confucius?


The following article is a satirical article. It may be that it does not contain very serious statements. But it may also be that the article is trying to convey some profound message.

This article is about the ancient authority of Confucius. If you are looking for an attitude to life that can also be taken up in modern life, go to Konfusius.

Confucius was the only person besides Jesus who was perfect. In his professional life he was a phrase harvester, wisdom knocker, teacher, student, travel agency manager, would-be Dalai Lama, great opponent of Daoism and the first national soccer coach in China.

Life and history

Confucius was something confuz!

Confucius was born in a rice plantation before Christ, about 40 meters from his school, where he went on his socks to become a teacher. The fine gentleman was actually called "Kong Qui", but no, he didn't want to. Confucianism also sounds nicer than Kong quizism, from that point of view one would like to shut a corn. It is still not known who changed his ID. The Beijing Registration Office has unfortunately lost the marginal note that said it.

It was said that he was a philosopher. But it can also be that the Chinese of the Stupidedia only want to tie up one bear. Or maybe he was just an asparagus picker. It is always occupied, occupied, but no one shows this document!

Only one thing is certain, Confucius was a civil servant. These people are usually perfect because you don't sin while you sleep.

Confucius loved to travel back then. Even Lufthansa was fed up with the endless Neckermann visits, but nevertheless everything was done to let "MR. PERFECT" drive through China. While he was scouring the slums with his Saarland mountain troops, he kept seeing undereducated idiots to whom he had to run to bang his wonderful, super-ultra-wisdoms in the heads of his super-gods. By the time Confucius traveled on, all of the students were miraculously cunning and had direct access to Oxford and Cambridge. You probably don't believe that yourself.

When Confucius turned 180, thank God he went back to his homeland. The fact that on his return home he never gave lessons up the bum of his students he saw again was everything. Confucius represented the points:

So then he was really that great. He was the Paris Hilton of China. His Pradalatschen, the leather jacket, the smell of Chanellong - all the Chinese praised the perfect. You can't hear it anymore. However, it has to be said that this article has been written very aggressively. No wonder. Everyone wants to be like him.


  • Hate is shit - love you, love me, love us ... bye!
  • Sucky sucky fucky fucky wonton Hong Kong Hong Kong!
  • It's about to take a break, take it easy!
  • Even the greatest fool of all shouldn't be viewed as "stupid", but as ... smart.
  • If I had known, I wouldn't have even gone away.
  • If a ball falls, it's made of plasticine and flattened. ""
  • "" I was born, but back then I was only one year old. ""
  • If you don't want what they want you, don't do that to anyone else ... or something like that ... oh fuck, look in the book and leave me alone.
  • Learning is nonsense, knowledge is wealth.
  • Anyone who makes just one mistake is no longer Confucius.
  • The greatest gift is life, if you like to live, honor your mothers, if you don't like to live, then you are unlucky.
  • To be able to share is not an art but a matter of course ... Stop! Stay away from my things that belong to me!
  • Everyone has the right to education and fair paid work, but the Left Party cannot steal slogans from me ...

further reading

  • The theses of "Confucius' Talks" - Collective outdooray from the Free University of Berlin
  • So Zarathustra said that he was better than Confucius-Nietzsche