Why don't people respect my time

Respect: 3 applicable tips for everyday life


We all want to be respected. But do you have to earn respect? Or even push through with your elbow? No, says expert Christoph Schlick.

The boss yells at us, the husband humiliates us in front of friends, the mother doesn't let us finish: it all hurts us. These are all examples of disrespectful behavior. And nobody wants to be treated like that. Respect is a gift. Respect can be received or given to someone. The logotherapist and psychological consultant from Salzburg, Christoph Schlick, tells us how we can bring more appreciation into our everyday life.

What is respect Take the other for who he is

We all want to be respected, that is immensely important to us. Why? It strengthens our autonomy, the logotherapist knows: "It is a basic need for all of us to be respected." Some people believe that one has to gain respect. Because, in their opinion, it belongs to those who use their elbows enough to punch themselves forward.

Wrong, thinks logotherapist Schlick. He thinks differently: "For me, respect has a lot more to do with human dignity: I take the other person as he is, respect him in his way, in his 'being that way'."Everyone is entitled to this respect and appreciation:" You don't have to earn respect. "

3 tips: How we live respect in everyday life

1. Respect your values ​​- and don't try to change other people

"The problem is: we always want to judge people as they suit us," says Schlick. The wrong approach for him, because: Respect doesn't start with others, but with myself. You will find it easier to show respect for your counterpart if you respect yourself and your values. And: if you learn to show yourself enough respect and esteem, then others will do the same.

"If, on the other hand, I am not respectful of my diet, health or my time management, others will no longer respect me over time," the expert knows. It starts with little things And is also a topic in Corona times: Do I work in the home office in a jogging suit or do I dress smartly, wash and hair my hair even though nobody sees me?

A partnership is also based on mutual respect - and that is easier to write than it is alive: “Especially in relationships, women often act like this: 'I will judge it the way I want it' - and men like this: 'Hopefully she will always stay the way I got to know her have'. That is not a respectful approach, because you can and must be allowed to change, ”says logotherapist Schlick.

2. Respect means: I stand up for my values ​​and communicate them

I should live what is important to me in a way that others can understand. "Some live their values ​​in secret and act outwardly as if they don't care anyway“, Knows the logotherapist. This gives others the wrong picture of you and you will often experience internal conflict because you do something that is not in keeping with your values. That is why from now on it is a question of standing up for my own values ​​to the outside world.

And that also means: what is important to me, Demand with moral courageif I have the impression that the value that is important to me is otherwise being violated. "We should also do that with a third party, because respect only works with reciprocity: whatever you want to be given and expressed to you, live for others too."

3. Also appreciate nature and material values

One can express respect not only towards other people but also towards nature.Because this awareness of esteem, appreciation and respect affects many levels: People, nature and also material values. "You can deliberately bring that up and ask yourself: Where do I treat others or something else with respect and where not yet?"

For example, when it comes to rubbish, think carefully about what it means to be respectful of nature: Do I throw my rubbish out of the car window or do I take other people’s rubbish with me and throw it in the garbage can?

What to do if others treat me disrespectfully

Here it comes down to: Are you really being treated disrespectfully, or is it just how you feel? It is best to ask your colleagues or friendswho have observed situations in which you have felt disrespected by others. How do others feel about it? Do they agree with you?

If so, you are probably being treated disrespectfully and you can speak up about it. Schlick advises: "Demand respect for yourself and say clearly: That's not okay with how you treat me.“

It is different when the disrespect possibly only takes place in your subjective perception. Then it's best to start again with yourself: "When we don't like and respect ourselves, we find it difficult to appreciate, respect, and respect othersSo first of all ask yourself: Am I aware of what I am worth and what others are worth?