What is a white knight narcissist
White Knight Syndrome: Get off your horse and save yourself
Everyone assumes the knight will save the day. But what if he's just playing White Springer Syndrome and getting as much of it as Virgo?
What does every good fairy tale have to offer? A white knight, of course. The white knight is the man who shows up in the end to save the day, make the pain go away and bring the girl in need out of the dire situation she finds herself in. It's no wonder every girl grows up dreaming that somewhere out there is her version of the white knight. But what if a guy plays White Springer Syndrome?
Over time, women realize that there is no such thing as a white knight. Some people protect you more than others, but they are all human and fallible. Sometimes when you need them the most you can find them in a bar trying to drink you off ...
Happy see you soon
There are people who grew up with the same idea of what a relationship entails, considering you are the white knight who is on earth to save a woman from the darkness she finds herself in.
Although the end of the fairy tale story ends with the girl and the white knight leaving together, that is never the end of the story. The "happy ending" is not the ride, but what happens after you drive away. And that ending, well, is never in a Disney movie, is it?
11 things that drive your white springer syndrome
If you're the type of guy who thinks it's your duty no wait, your duty to rescue a woman from the bad situation she is in, or maybe even from yourself, it might be time to look what you make of it.
There is often a guess on the part of the White Knight that their actions are purely altruistic, but this is not necessarily true. For the white knight, if he didn't win something in the mix, why should he keep putting himself in danger?
Love is a pretty powerful tool. It's not always the only thing that drives a white knight to come to the rescue, even with his own or that of the girl.
Before you think you are sacrificing yourself and doing someone else a favor, find out what makes you a knight in shining armor, selflessness or selfishness?
# 1 You want their loyalty forever. The white knight knows that if he slays the dragon and saves the princess, she will be eternally grateful to him. "Owes" her his life forever.
You could have white knight syndrome if you are trying to get unconditional love through your actions rather than true love. Saving her is great. Pretending that she is forever indebted to you isn't great.
# 2 You have to have the upper hand. A white knight knows that the lady always sees him when he shows his dominance over her protector. But sometimes he wants more. Sometimes the white knight seeks more power over them.
When you save her from something terrible, you are showing her how "powerful" you can be and placing her in a position of submission.
# 3 You want to be considered "the good one". Sometimes the white knight sacrifices everything, not out of love for the Virgin, but to show the townspeople how amazing he is. It's not about the love he feels for the woman he saves. It's more about the recognition and admiration he gets from everyone around him.
If you're the one who drops in and saves someone, you get pretty big in a community, whether you do it on purpose or not. The worship is quite powerful.
# 4 You are just as dependent on her as you are on you. There are times when the white knight saves the maiden, because without her he would be lost forever. Fairytale romances are based on two characters, not just the maiden, but also the knight.
There are times when men try to save unsaved women because they need her as much as the girl. Codependent relationships are not about saving someone; it's about pulling both of them down.
If you see that she needs to be saved and you hold on because you can't be without her, then you are not a knight. You are a co-conspirator of their bad behavior. If you help her in a way that you think help, but really only encourage her and hold her, that is, clean up her mess, then that doesn't save, that helps drown.
# 5 You enjoy the sympathy . Some people live on the sympathy of others because it denies them any responsibility. If you are left in a bad situation with a woman who keeps standing there, then you are not there to save her, you are there to shout "poor me".
If you want to get her out, and aren’t all I can do is try to elicit sympathy by telling everyone how much you care and giving it a try, consider the possibility that it has nothing to do with her at all. It may be about you needing attention and people to feel sorry for you.
# 6 It's all about self-sabotage. Self-sabotaging is one of the ways we make decisions, knowing we were failing and then saying, “See, I knew it was going to fail.” When you have White Knight Syndrome and it's not your first rodeo or chance saving someone then you should think about if for any reason you like to sabotage yourself.
We sabotage our happiness for many reasons. What is it that you gain by putting yourself in a situation where failure is the only outcome?
# 7 You couldn't save anyone in your past, so this is your second chance. Sometimes we grow up in families where we watch people we love self-destruct and we are unable to save them. This puts many adults on the right track to correct the injustices of their childhood.
If you've had an alcoholic mother or a drug addict father, you could save someone to undo the past and lack of control. But you can never save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Not as a child and not as an adult. Saving someone is not your duty, it is their job.
# 8 You grew up seeing a dependent relationship. If you grew up with parents who had a similar relationship where you always save the other that's probably all you know.
Sometimes we're addicted to drama and co-dependent relationships because it's all we know. So we look for destructive relationships because we can't handle normal and stable relationships. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family that almost everyone * has, try to change your future by leaving Virgo to go her own way and save yourself for once.
# 9 You're a narcissist who feels it is your duty to do things "right". Sometimes a man has White Knight Syndrome because he feels it is his duty to morally protect and guide everyone because he is perfect.
If you save her just because you think that you are the only one in the world who can, you are so perfect, then maybe think about that she doesn't want to be saved. It is not your duty.
# 10 You want her to depend on you. If it's you who saved her, then she owes you her life forever. And you are the only one who can not only save them, but also keep them. If you think that once you save her she will depend on you forever, you better think about if this is the kind of relationship you want with someone.
Do you want her to love you because she loves you? Or do you want her to love you because she must be afraid of being lost again? If you really love someone, you should want them to choose you because they want, not because they fear the consequences of not staying.
# 11 You can't save yourself, so why not save someone else? There are many people who are so confused inside that they focus on those outside of them. Since they cannot realize who they are or get together, they can also heal someone.
Instead of always looking for someone to rescue, trying to change you, you might just want to take some time to figure out your own shit and let them find out it's out. Once you've pulled yourself together, a much better relationship ensues.
Before you storm the castle, take one more time to think about why you're always in the same White Springer Syndrome, what you're making of it, and when it's time to step back and save yourself instead.
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